My dearest love.


Yesterday, I lost my dearest love, Paul, a man with one of the brightest, strongest spirits and finest, funniest minds that I have ever known.

I don’t have the words to say how much I will miss him.

50 thoughts on “My dearest love.

  1. Oh Kim, I am so heart sick for you and your loss. Words cannot express how sad I feel . Know that my prayers are for you.
    Love Caralyn

  2. Oh, Kimberly! What a loss. What a man. I am so, so, sad for you.
    Thank you for letting us know. I hope the love of your many, many friends will give you courage and strength.

  3. Kim, I am so very sorry. Even though I haven’t seen Paul for years, he was often in my thoughts. I remember sitting in the Ratty with him and the other new transfer students. I liked him instantly. I thought, this is why I came to Brown, to meet people like this. He was the first person to call me and my peers “women.” He was smart and funny and well informed and pushed my thinking in every possible way. The world is a sadder place without him. Sending you love from Utah, Sarah

  4. Oh my dear Kimberly! My heart is breaking for you, and I’m having trouble typing through the tears. Words cannot express my feelings regarding the loss of such a dear, brilliant, and strong person, and I’m but a distant friend, not even a Seattlite, nor a neighbor nor regular visitor to your home, let alone a close family member. Thank you for sharing the news with all of us. Do let your friends and family know if we can do anything at all.

    With a very heavy heart,


  5. my dearest cousin in law ….lol…I have been weeping for you, Norman and Vanessa since I heard. I will be there soon to hug you in person…

  6. Dear Kimberly, I am so so sorry for your loss. You are both in my heart and thoughts.

  7. He was so beautiful and brilliant and beloved. Dear friend, you are right, there are no words.

  8. Oh, no! As I had begun to fear, no news is not good news. For Paul to be out of pain and done struggling–I can find a thin strand of goodness there, that will eventually be visible, peaking out of the gloom–yes, but for the rest of us, for you, that he no longer walks this earth makes our planet a poorer place.

    I am so sorry for your loss. May his memory be for a blessing.

  9. Oh no! I am so sorry to hear this. Paul was such a friend and a true inspiration. His wit, intelligence, and grace will be with me, and his many colleagues and friends, always.

  10. Kim, I am heavy with sorrow at this news and grieving for you and your families.I knew Paul was in a battle again, I just didn’t realize what a fight it was. I wish that I had known him, his writing was full of all the good in the world. We wish you peace and send you love.

  11. Dear Kimberly,
    O cruel winter, cruel fate, to take such a man as Paul! My heart is breaking for you, Kimberly. I saw your love, I hear your pain, and I have no words to offer but know this, dear friend, that I hold you both in love.

  12. Kimberly, I can’t express how sorry I am to hear this. I feel truly blessed to have had Paul as a colleague and friend. He will be sorely missed.

  13. Kimberly, I am so sorry. What a blow. This is a tremendous loss. I wish you the best. This leaves gaps in many lives, but yours most of all. Be well.

  14. Kimberly, my thoughts are with you. Lean on your family and friends when necessary and know there is a network of people who are keeping you and Paul in their minds and hearts. – pvz

  15. Kimberly, I’m so sorry to hear this news, and so sad for your loss. I never met Paul, but I have followed your posts so have had a little glimpse of your lives, and I will miss knowing that he’s out there in the world. Know that Paul’s life has touched and affected complete strangers, and he will be remembered. I hope you are able to find peace and happiness in your own life soon.

  16. Oh! Oh Kimberly. I am so grateful you two got to be together. A beautiful love story, and I am so sad that was all the time you had. Love you. Take your time. There’s no rush for anything. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo, jules

  17. Fair winds, Paul. You fought hard, and long, and yet with ease.
    And to Kimberly, you’re in my thoughts; I’ll do what I can to ease one small burden over the coming weeks … see you soon.

  18. Your love was deep and wide and transcended space and time. It was a gift to know and love you both. We are all grieving.

  19. Kimberly…I am so sad to hear this news and so, so sorry for your loss. Paul was so warm and giving. He will be missed by many.

  20. But there were such high hopes for his recovery and long life.
    I am so saddened he is gone. You and he have been daily in my thoughts. My brain is just stuttering and I can’t seem to put words together to express my sympathy and grief for your loss.
    I always felt the warmth of his spirit and of the love you share.
    He will never truly leave you.

  21. Kimberly, I cannot say adequately how sorry I am. Is there anything I can do? I know I’m far away, but my heart is right there with you.

  22. Kimberly, I am so sorry to hear this news. Paul meant so much, and he will live on in our memories. I will be thinking of and singing for him and for you.

  23. Paul was one of the most amazing human beings I have ever known. He excelled at life, as do you, Kimberly. My heart and thoughts are with you, With love, Kyla

  24. I am heartbroken, Kimberly. The love you shared shed a grace and bright light on all who know you. Sending you love, hope and hugs as you deal with the days ahead.

  25. Paul was a 2nd year student when I started at Deep Springs…even then a wry, wise friend, biting wit, serious and gentle soul. As the years passed, he always emanated courage to me, the kind he represented in this blog and his clear politics and “right place-right time” career choices.

    So sorry for his passing.

  26. I am so sorry for your loss. I am a friend of Paul’s from his days at Eastern Jr. High and Greenwich High. Paul and I hung out a the nerds table. He taught me about the finer points of Monty Python’s Flying Circus, Star Wars and Star Trek. He tried to teach me D&D but, I could catch on. I always enjoyed his wit and wisdom. Even though we hadn’t spoken in many years, hearing his name brings me back to a simpler and freer time in my life. Wishing you the best.

  27. Kimberly, upon reading this I stopped in my tracks and now sit here stunned. Paul was the ultimate fighter and I was sure this battle would be won. I am so sorry for your loss, and for the world, as Paul affected everyone around him instantly, deeply and positively. We were all enriched by his presence. He will continue to shape parts of my life through my memories of him, his wit, humor, insight, compassion and resilience. Our love and support to you, always here for you. Greg and Rene

  28. Dearest Kimberly,

    Paul fought so long and hard to stay in this world that I believed in his forever.
    I am so terribly sad for you that you have lost such a wonderful man from your life. Just know that you have a zillion friends who love you and grieve for you.
    What is there to say? No words, just tears. And all our love,

    Paul and Victoria

  29. When we didn’t hear from you, I wondered and still I am stunned. No words, just tears of sorrow for you. This is heartbreaking news.

  30. Oh Kimberly. You’re right — there are no words. My heart is with you, Norman, Vanessa and all of Paul’s friends and family.

  31. Oh, my love. I just saw your news this morning. I’m so, so sorry. Paul was a singular man, and the two of you were a singular example of love in the universe. Sending you love and wishes for comfort, strength and peace.

  32. A BIG Hugh for you. The comments are beautiful. Paul had real connections with everyone. You have a lot of wonderful memories to carry with you for the rest of your life.

  33. Kim, I’m so very, very sorry to hear of your loss. I didn’t even get to meet him – but I’m sure if you loved him, he was a wonderful man and will be missed by many. My deepest sympathy and love to you –

  34. Kimberly,
    I am stunned and saddened for your grave loss. I am out of town, but my thoughts and deep condolences are with you. Any support I can offer is yours. I feel very sad for you and your family.

  35. Dear Kimberly, I am a friend of Paul’s from high school. I am so sorry to hear about Paul’s last battle with cancer. Our thoughts are with you, his family, and your family. Paul will be missed. We all send you our love and condolences.
    Best wishes, Barbara

  36. I am still in shock from hearing about Paul’s passing. I knew him from his post-college days in California. My deepest condolences to you. I shall miss Paul and keep you both in my thoughts.

  37. Kimberly, we are all so sorry to hear this, he fought such a fight. Just stunned and hope to offer our support in any way. I did not know Paul well, just through your stories, like looking into a small window of your wonderful life together with a great man. My love and prayers are with you.

  38. Oh, Kimberly, we are so, so sorry to hear of Paul’s passing. It seems like just yesterday that we were frolicking at your wedding. Please know that you are in our hearts and prayers and that our love surrounds you. Blessings in your memories.

  39. Kimberly,
    I am so terribly sad as I think about the loss of Paul. His wonderful spirit touched all of us and I feel fortunate to have known him. I cherish these warm memories, so many of which are images of Paul laughing.

    You have been through so much, my heart grieves for you. I send a hug, and hopes for your strength and comfort. My thoughts are with you.

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