Over the weekend, I was in the kitchen, looking at the big box of arborio rice my sister-in-law left us after her visit, and thinking, I wonder if I could eat any of that? I’d tried a little of the risotto she’d made, sitting with the family one night while they were here, and it hadn’t gone too badly. So I cooked up a small pot, with some of my home-made chicken broth from the freezer, and some butter and garlic, and had at it. Yum.
The good news is that every day since, I’ve tried to eat a little more rice. Yesterday, over the course of the day, I got in about 3/4 cup. It doesn’t go down particularly easily, but it goes down, and not into my lungs. There is considerable hacking and throat-clearing involved, but very little coughing, since I seem able to avoid aspiration. It seems like the big problem at the moment is getting solid stuff beyond a miniscule size past a certain point in my throat. The muscles involved in pushing it down don’t seem to want to play, or something.
It seems simultaneously wonderful and pitiful. I’m really enjoying actually eating something tasty and healthy, but considering how much work goes into each small bite, it’s, well, a long way from where I want to be. I keep telling myself, one step, or crank of the pedals, at a time.
As for other steps, several people have commented to me that the increased energy in my political rants is an indicator of returning health, and a positive sign. They, and other readers, will probably be pleased to hear that I’ve actually gotten up the energy to start a brand new blog, just for my political ranting, to spare Bush supporters and others who just want news about my health and how our family is doing.
Before you all go rushing off to look, be warned. There isn’t much there, and the metaphorical sawdust is still in the air. However, if you want to be among the first to bookmark it, (or add it to your Favorites, or whatever IE users do 😉 ) I’m calling it Ratiocination. I’ll be fixing the place up over the next few days with the aid of my top-flight template designer. If my megalomaniacal visions come to pass, it’ll serve as home base for my future career as a political columnist.
The casual viewer may miss the ways in which it is even more a sign of returning health. For one thing, it’s hosted at nosmallplans.com, not blogspot. When I was still reeling from my squamous diagnosis, and wanting to get a blog started as rapidly as possible, I chose blogspot for simplicity’s sake. Now I have the time and energy to set one up as part of the domain I’d created as part of my coaching business. That I have the ability to focus on the many niggling details of ftp addresses, file permissions, and managing remote Unix directories on a contracted server in Quebec, is a real sign for me that I’m getting better. (Lest anyone read signs of increasing paranoia in me basing my political blog on a server in another country, it’s just a co-incidence. Really. No, really.)
Speaking of future careers, and my coaching business, it’s been on my mind lately that I’m getting enough energy to start thinking about some kind of work. As we move into the Fall, I’ll be working on getting back into coaching. I’ll be starting in a limited way, at first, to see how I do with it, and to finish up my credentials. Stay tuned for further developments.
Time to go warm up a little bowl of rice!
Update (7:45 PM): OK, it was too good an opportunity to pass up. Ratiocination is hopping! Go there!