It’s hard to describe how it feels when my body has one of its off days. With Kimberly, I’ve adopted the phrasing that I am out of “oomph.” Today I feel like someone has stolen all my “oomph.”
Earlier this week I was pretty active. Wednesday morning it was grey out, so I did my workout on the treadmill. But later it got sunny and warm, so I went out to weed-whack the backyard. That was a lot. Then Thursday I had a pre-existing date to walk around the neighborhood, and, since I was actually feeling pretty good, that was long. Now, as predicted, two days later, I am wiped out.
It’s close, but not quite like feeling that my body is made of lead. It does feel like there is an extraordinary force of will required to move. The same degree of intention that, on a good day, has me up and moving, gets no real response. It’s like I need to step harder on the gas pedal than normal. I imagine it’s like being on a planet with more gravity, but frankly, that’s not a science-fiction scenario I’d like to try. It’s like my muscles need to work twice as hard, or they are missing some basic level of vitality and energy. The sense of exhaustion is so thorough that it brings to mind the phrase “bone tired.”
Sometimes there is a mental fogginess that goes with it, but too often I’m relatively clear-headed. This is when I most feel like I’m trapped in an old jalopy. My mind runs through list after list of things I want to be doing, but I’m lucky to get myself out of bed and fed. This is when I get to do my spiritual work on acceptance. (I’m not so good at it.)
All my big plans for today will have to wait for tomorrow, or whenever. Sigh.